November 2008
Someone must be dressed up as Flava Flav outside.
I know this because all of a sudden, some drunk guy just yelled “FLAVA FLAAAAVVVVV!!!” about fifteen times.
October 2008
Let's be honest, there aren't many other good...
People are too into the election.
“I’ll miss the excitement of being ahead of the curve and already know what the pundits are going to spin on television.”
Good Lord, someone punch me in the face.
I might be the only person who believes this, but the people who get excited over garbage from pundits and “spin” are a special type of miserable.
“I’ll...
Attn fatmanatee:
afghanistanbananastand:
If you do Buster, please do the post-seal-bite Buster. And please take pics. And you have to talk about how your mom’s “still got it” all night.
I didn’t realize how many ideas you could come up from Arrested Development… it’s really absurd. Calls for a theme party, in fact. I won’t hold it so close to Halloween, but it’s definitely...
Sexy Buster Bluth Costume
For whatever reason, I found myself thinking about the opposite of the adult female tradition of dressing up for Halloween, the male equivalent, if you will. What costumes achieve the optimal one-night stands?
Oh! I remember… I figured that if I dressed up as “crazy woman from McCain rally”, I had no chance. In fact, save yourselves from dressing in drag, guys, if you want...
Panic attack
noraleah:
Stay strong, grapefruite! Breath. Then send your aunt “The Conservative Christian Case for Supporting Obama” (via Azspot). But don’t just send her the link. Copy and paste it. They like long emails. Bonus: lots of Bible talk!
I opened my email this morning and had ten emails from my aunt who lives in a small town in Missouri. Their content is crushing me… everything you’d think -...
Two days before Election Day, perhaps we'll be...
I hinted to this before, but the most striking characteristic that I’ve noticed from some supporters of McCain is a dogged sense of loyalty and faithfulness. Yes, as nutty as the nuttiest Obama supporters. Nowadays, all I’m hearing about is socialism, but weeks ago? Ayers. Before that? The “liberal” label. Somewhere in there was something about how he never governed a...
Date an Ayn Rand fanatic? NO WAY.
Most people seem to have a clause in their dating contract that allows them to jump ship immediately. I’m not attached to the clause in the subject title, but if you keep telling me how awesome Fountainhead is, I might get a bit annoyed.
No, I’m ridiculous: I’m wary about dating Yankee fans. I did it once, and the joy of watching them lose in 2001 almost earned me a punch in...
I've never eaten at a foodie restaurant.
But I’m jealous of the square plates they get there.
“BTW, will you be voting libertarian this year? That would appear to be the...”
– talking to you is like talking to long division: WTF HAPPENED TO PRIDE?
I can’t speak for the Libertarians, but I imagine why a lot of them are voting for McCain is because of the two prominent choices, he is more likely to support the policies they believe in. And much like the many of the people...
Curiosity about income taxes.
With all this talk about socialism, my curiosity took me to the Wikipedia page on income taxes in the United States, just to get a perspective on this stuff. It’s interesting if you’re into it, I guess.
Anyway, for those who might not have been aware, income taxes were incredibly low until World War I, at which point, they were raised to socialist-douchebag levels of 73% at the top! ...
WTF HAPPENED TO PRIDE?
complicatedshoes:
muppetpants:
ohtrouble:
Seriously. Since when did Americans want to be rescued? Since when do they hold their hands out, happily taking whatever is given to them?
What she said.
American pride has been replaced with American guilt and American jealousy, where success is shameful and personal wealth a disgrace.
You’re supposed to feel bad for everything you ever achieved...
COOKING WITH CHEF FAT - Pesto Chicken Pasta →
Chicken, pesto sauce, garlic, sundried tomatoes. It’s sorta healthy, right? I had it tonight, and it was tasty.
Bacon-wrapped BJs
Just attempting to send this meme into total parody.
Buying a bicycle: like cars, only more...
It’s come to my attention that I’d probably benefit from having a bike. I could get to work on it, the shelter, volleyball, and kickball, among other things. So I was hoping to get some prices by googling “buy bicycle”, and what did I see? 10 straight results of “how to buy…”, meaning this takes some work. I’ll have to take a potential bike out...
From the Theissman files... ugly leg injuries... →
I can’t watch it, thank goodness. Someone left a wagon out on the football field, just a few feet from the endzone, and let’s just say there was an ugly collision. One of the commenters blamed the color guard, which is AWESOME. As a former band geek, I remember the good ol days of making fun of color guard, because it only made sense… they were even more useless than we...
Milk is for the devil.
Milk is okay with me. I wouldn’t drink it without something to go with it, like cereal or cookies, so the amount of promotion towards milk is a bit odd to me. Does every celebrity really need to sport that fake milkstache?
So it was humorous to meet a guy who is vehemently anti-milk, for seemingly no reason at all. Something about false benefits, propoganda… I’ve known a...
“We’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans...”
– Sarah Palin, to New Yorker writer Philip Gourevitch, a few weeks before receiving the VP nomination.
Posted without comment.
(via)
(via themattsmith)
(via afghanistanbananastand)
Wait, you mean that 80% approval rating has something to do with Alaskans getting free oil money all the time? NO...
NY faces crushing budget crisis, the cuts will... →
Expect to hear more about this in the coming months. Obviously, they’re going to the feds for help.
What, you don't eat breakfast with your pants at... →
Apologies for taking it away from the reblog stream, but I wanted to make note of this oddity. I mean, go ahead, make your own caption.
“A cereal so nutritious, you lose inches from your waist while you eat it!”
So you got yourself a kitten...
Somehow, in spite of less than a year on the job and no prior ownership of a pet, I’ve been asked a few times and responded to other people’s questions about their new buddy. Peeing the bed! Running around like a maniac! Nibbling on your fingers! Let’s talk about solutions.
Biting: For one thing, most cat nibbles are playful. You’ll know when it isn’t. When a...
Maybe I should stop talking political stuff...
I’m rereading 1984 until I figure out something better to do. I know the perils of this more than most… it results in people obnoxiously comparing facets of the government du jour to Big Brother, to the point that they want to let you know that as a result of reading this book, they are intellectually superior. It’s certainly a frequently referenced book. Then again, the more...
Alabama: not as bad as Arkansas or Mississippi! →
So says Sir Charles.
Okay, some insight into my work life...
Okay, so there’s a guy here who is rather opinionated. He was once an active reader of WTC conspiracy theories, and that’s all you need to know, k?
So yesterday, for whatever reason, the elections came up, and I heard something to the effect of “McCain was the one who leaked that Palin spent $150k on her wardrobe”, and after many seemingly ridiculous statements, I felt it...
www.bigfatmanatee.com →
At least my blog is more exciting than this one.
