April 2008
“I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I...”
– Maybe my favorite Mitch Hedberg line, which extends a bit into a discussion of the club sandwich. Now that I think of it, I should start a random club, and if anyone has a problem, I’d say “well you ain’t in the club!” Keep in mind, I only own Mitch All Together. I’m...
March 2008
Man was that porn-star joke terrible. I don’t even know if I understood the joke.
IN THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND..... EIGHT... →
EVERYONE WILL WORK FOUR-HOUR DAYS…. EVEN PORN-STARS. ::comedic drum noise:: I’ll be here all week.
Watches for Monday
soupsoup: I have a question, do older Tags hold up style-wise like Rolex do? I’m guessing not. My guess would be not as well, but that might be just because of brand recognition. It probably depends on the style of the watch… Tag seems to have a broader array than Rolex does. I’ll be honest though, I am a bit new to this. I got into watches because one of my friends said one of the...
Watches for Monday
I don’t know why I’m doing this, because I get this feeling that 99% of the people who read the last Watch Review think that it’s a turd. But Sara reblogged it, either making fun of me or because it was useful. Let’s assume it was useful. A reminder: I’m doing this to provide fellow tumblrs with insight into the watch culture, alternatives to higher priced...
Watchzachlinder:ESPN’s coverage of The Grandaddy of ‘Em All! Not to be confused with The Grandpappy of ‘Em All. Even the non-wrestling fans should look at this, if only to realize how enormous some WWF wrestlers are. He’s my height, with just slightly more muscle. I gained a lot of respect for Mayweather after his fight with Ricky Hatton, and this only added to it. He’s no pro-wrestler,...
I want a book deal.
So my musings don’t have any sort of direction or purpose. Can I get 300k anyway?
Ever since I turned 18, I’ve had this odd fascination with members of my age group who have achieved some manner of success. That was the first year that guys my age were being drafted into pro sports. Britney Spears was IT. Then some guys my age created a website dedicated to funny stuff, in written, picture, and video form. That was crazy. Now, many of my peers are changing the...
Stories I'm Excited to Read
Horace Mann Facebook Scandal - About a teacher who faced an online clobbering from his students on Facebook How Lenny Dykstra Ended Up Winning… Again - Hey, what if I told you a joke about Lenny Dykstra being a guy people listen to on TV about financial advice… only it wasn’t a joke? Chasing Jose - This one, I can vouch for. A journalist posts to Deadspin about his quest to...
Things I told my brother Dillon when he was 5 that...
caragh: 1. Yes, me and your sister are losing your teeth now. That’s what happens when you get older. Well, to girls. Boys loose their eyeballs. (he cried immediately) 2. Yes, Dad is going to have to get his leg cut off because of when you hit him there with that ball. (he cried immediately) 3. Yes, those bruises are really bad. It’s because you have leukemia and you’re going to die soon. (he...
sha sha shakin... →
I was reading the rocketboom tumblr and caught mention of this magical place called the Shake Shack. A couple of the food items look a bit nasty, but that often means it’s tasty, and I’m always excited for tasty. That adds another place to the list of places I need to stop by soon, which includes: That place where Steve Nash plays el futbol in the offseason. Not because of a Steve...
11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep →
sarahcroberts: (via testumblrone) If a guy takes up a miserable game just to get away from his wife, he deserves a miserable life. I never understood the social appeal about golf, the same way I don’t understand the social appeal of fantasy sports (see Knocked Up). And I mean no offense to anyone who enjoys either, unless I have to hear about your team’s fantastic sleeper players...
Twitter White Whine →
The creator of Twitter submits a rather good White Whine. Includes a mention of Whole Foods!
I might be making a mistake here.
I just randomly scheduled a haircut because I felt like I kinda really needed one. So I picked the first place I saw on the way home from my NYC trip and asked if I can jump right in. Lady says no, but she scheduled an appointment for today. Spelled my name as Kebim after I spelled it for her. I didn’t have marbles in my mouth when I said it, I promise. This doesn’t bode well for...
caragh: Not only did I forget to shut of my lights, but I was in the middle of a “nap” while it happened. With all my lights on. Sorry for being such an asshole, Earth! Whatever, I bet someone is going to come out with some sort of study/well thought out article saying that none of it really makes a huge impact because ___________, just like with every other thing that we’re told is good for our...
Are there any specials here?
Oh, just the same ol’ $6 Stellas and Blue Moons? Well I’m be damned… I don’t need it anymore, so here’s my wallet, let’s go!
So for the second time this month, I had a plan to eat at Les Halles that fell through. First time, it was a college friend’s birthday celebration, this time, my roommate’s dad was in town. Short visit to NYC before making his way to Switzerland to make a presentation to the World Health Organization. I didn’t know this until yesterday, but it sounds like he’s a genius. ...
The World Cat Congress is Also Affected by... →
I wish this was less of a meeting for cat-lovers and more of a Congress for cats. If there was really a Cat Senate, I’d imagine that they would be discussing a measure to condemn the site I Can Has Cheeseburger and asking that they take the cat population more seriously. So yes, just like regular people Congress, Cat Congress would rather waste time with pointless crap than take care of...
A 3 year old updates me on what happened to that... →
New Rule! Everybody on TV is going to be replaced by 3 year olds doing the same things. I feel that the Hills can benefit greatly from this.
Does it have to be Jesus? →
Honestly, it’s getting a little ridiculous now. Let’s stop comparing our Cheetos to Jesus. It could have been his neighbor, Bob, but I guess that doesn’t get the press attention. It’s like Jesus Food replaced adorable pandas for the easy news bit. Note: that Cheeto does look kinda gross. I’m glad he didn’t eat it.
Speaking of sports...
My dad raised me as a Isles, Jets, and Mets fan. So I got to see the Rangers win in 1994, the Yankees win way too much, and the Giants win twice. The Giants deal is tolerable because there’s no rivalry there, so I get to put on my “I’m so happy for you!” face for Giants fans when they win the Super Bowl. But seriously, can I bring cruelty charges to my dad? I’ve...
not much hockey to talk about in my town...
Except for the dreaded tanking talk. For those of you who are less in tune with the sports world, tanking is the term for when a team deliberately loses games in order to end their season with the fewest wins possible. They do this in order to be first in line for the best young talent coming into the league. It’s a big issue because nobody wants their favorite team to lose, but...
I just had a sudden realization.
I generally find out about the weather through my social plans. Either that, or I get a big wet surprise when I walk outside.
hors d'ouevres
Instead of pronouncing this as “ordourves”, I nominate that we start pronouncing it as it looks. I’d prefer to call them “whores devores”.
I’ve encountered many situations in my time here, at my current place of employment, situations that are best known as Debbie Downer moments. I want to make a button like the Staples Easy Button, but instead of the Debbie Downer “WAAHH WAAAAAAAAHHH”, it plays the Price is Right loser horn. “BUH BUH DA BUH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”. Like that. It would really take the...
our generation is fast
caragh: fatmanatee:muxtape launched yesterday, and already the ”why does everyone like this?” backlash has started! It’s not backlash, it’s actual wonderment and questioning (in my case). Like I said, it’s cool, I guess. It’s just nothing new. And Jakob Lodwick posted something about how muxtape solves one of our world’s biggest culture problems: finding new music. (paraphrased) … I’m sorry,...
random thoughts from last night
The bruising isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I can now use the left shift key! Still, a reminder, don’t do headfirst slides, especially when it’s intramural kickball. It’s not worth it. I mentioned that I have been on Match lately (although I haven’t uploaded a picture), and it’s been a point of discussion among my roommates and friends from home. ...
next time i make out with a girl, i want the saved by the bell studio audience to scream “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!” behind me. random thought. when i was watching degrassi, the biggest difference between that and “the bell” was the studio audience. i missed it. it really completed the cheesiness factor of the show. laugh tracks, woooooos, aawwwwwwws, everything. okay,...
screw proper punctuation
i was going to include a picture of my knee, currently a lovely shade of red and soon a cornucopia of wonderful colors. dont feel like it now. hey baseball fans, when keith hernandez says it’s a bad idea to slide head first, its good advice. tell your kids. tell them kevin agrees with keith, and teach them to slide feet first, no matter how goofy it looks. because no matter how goofy it...
I am experiencing the Degrassi show for the first...
Dude #1: Yo Spinner, my man, how long have you been rocking that gorgeous mullet?
Dude #2: (pulls off hat with fake wig) I have cancer, dude.
Becca, WTF? THIS WAS THE FIRST SCENE I EVER SAW OF THIS SHOW!
Oh, awesome, the teachers are maybe 2 years older than the students.
The beginning of my kickball league was postponed last week due to mud. Unacceptable, IMO, I am ready to ball, rain or shine. I yearn for the glory days of years past when you see classic kickballers kicking up a pile of mud into the air, going for a headfirst slide, and outfielders pegging the runner in the face. The rescheduled first game is tonight, and I have no idea what to expect. ...
iPod shuffles!
Weezer - Getchoo The 1990s - You’re Supposed to Be My Friend GNR + Elton John - Bohemian Rhapsody Outkast - Bombs Over Baghdad Keane - Everybody’s Changing Wyclef Jean - To All the Girls Belle and Sebastian - Song For Sunshine Jimmy Eat World - Let It Happen Ben Folds Five - Your Redneck Past Billy Joel - Say Goodbye to Hollywoodnot indie enough. needs more fresh stuff.
A clarification of my last post
I noted that it was crappy to hear that a new girl to our office is already spoken for. This is partially true, but in a way, I hope her relationship tempers some of the creepy guys that come up to her to start some sort of office marriage. I often feel terrible when a new girl comes in and gets eaten up by the vultures, sometimes even after they find out that she’s taken already. So when...
Hey, you know what sucks? When you hear there’s a really cute girl who’s new to the office, looks kinda like Lily Allen, and everyone goes out to lunch and she talks about playing Rock Band with her BOYFRIEND. stinky.
