My dad is Steve Jobs and he has too many ipads so he told me to give them away. It’s the new iPad with dual cameras, not even available to the public yet! Just follow this blog, reblog this post, and give me a bacon greased handjob and you’ll be entered to win.
I’ll post a picture once I find a picture of 100 iPad boxes on Google image search.
Reader beware! We’re entering the string of weeks where, if they aren’t taking a vacation here and there, they’re doing lists and retrospectives. Time is going with a DECADE retrospective this week. Soon enough, they’ll be doing their person of the year, their favorite things of the year, and etc etc. I won’t be linking lists unless they’re really good, so you’re on your own there.
We’ve joked about it for a long time, my friends, but today it is clear. The ability to recognize sarcasm is officially dead on Jezebel. RIP humor. We hardly knew you.
If it was sarcasm I fail to see the point. Unless the point was to write a…
Gawker has been throwing heavy troll bait lately. Their palin leak was begging for attention, deadspin started doing regular features on duke and the heat for some reason, and then there’s this. It’s not like they’re the only site begging for eyeballs, but they’re quite shameless about it.
When I was 19, I went to visit my foreign exchange student in Germany for a month and a half. She still had school, but she took me pretty much everywhere with her, and I understood a limited amount of German, so it worked out okay. As long as I’ve known her, she’s been very serious about safety, especially vehicle safety. In fact, she wouldn’t even put the key in the ignition if every passenger wasn’t all belted in.
One day, she was at school and some of her friends were taking off early to go to the lake. She suggested I go with them, since she knew I wasn’t going to relish sitting through a Trig class taught in my fourth language. These kids didn’t do the exchange program, so although they all knew English, in order to communicate I had to speak slowly and enunciate.
I piled in the backseat with the rest of them and the car took off. I realized that I hadn’t buckled myself in and said jokingly, “Oh yeah, I forgot you guys are nazis about seatbelts here.”
I regretted it as the words were coming out of my mouth, but was unable to stop myself. The car grew silent. I knew that I had spoken quickly, and what they probably gleaned from that sentence was “You guys” and “Nazis.” I knew I couldn’t explain to them that the Soup Nazi was a popular television character, or that I wasn’t calling THEM Nazis necessarily, but that in the states we use that word casually. Like a joke. Hilarious, right?
I tell this story sometimes and people are like, “How could you be so stupid???” But I was 19, and it was my first time out of the country. It’s a word popularized by the most popular show in America. I don’t know, sometimes I see younger kids get their asses handed to them on Tumblr for similar missteps and I kind of want to say, “It’s okay, kid. Now you know the power of your words. Adjust accordingly.”
Every time I see some kid get put on blast by a tumblr mob for saying something dumb, I want to e-mail them and say pretty much this.
New Yorker on Glenn Beck’s Soros crusade - I’m fascinated and terrified by this part of Beck’s act. He’s a marketing genius, as far as being able to use Fox News to build a 8 figure empire of conspiracy theories when he’s admitted to being full of shit. But it’s this stuff, the stories where he scares people “to action”, that’s the worst. The difference between the truthers and the birthers is that the truthers never got a cushy seat on a cable network.
I’m in the falls church dogfish head alehouse. It’s date night! I didn’t get the memo. Gonna keep drinking and then wander over to the Sears across the street and play with power tools until I sober up.