i am the fat manatee.

my mom doesn't read my tumblr

and good god, why would she? She’d get a steady stream of boob jokes and videogames, and that’s just the first page. And Jakob Lodwick fake-sleeping? Forget about it.

So I’m home for some dinner time fun and the Mets game. High comedy = Oliver Perez stealing a base. The only thing that makes me giddier is when El Duque does it. I wish Ollie was wearing his goofy pitcher’s jacket.