TERRIBLE HUMANS MAKING MORE MONEY THAN YOU #3: NICOLE POLIZZI

A short detour on my adventure into terrible humans, since there’s been a lot of talk today about how Snooki is pulling in more money than Toni Morrison at Rutgers.  It’s a non-story that’ll inevitably lead to some as-hole asking Morrison about how she feels about the situation, and Morrison will kindly and respectfully answer even though she shouldn’t have to.

I’ll ask a simple question to snark machines like Gawker and news sites capitalizing on this news: count how many times you’ve written stories about Toni Morrison recently.  Count how many you’ve written about Snooki.  It’s not even close.  Even if Morrison produced the most brilliant poetry of the 21st century, you’d still rather write about how Snooki wrote a book or how Snooki has a slipper collection.  Stop pretending to be outraged when this happens.  It’s a constant cycle of OH GOD LOOK AT THESE AWFUL PEOPLE I NEED TO WATCH THIS x 10000 and then OH GOD THESE AWFUL PEOPLE MADE MONEY HOW DID THAT HAPPEN and then back to the beginning with someone new.

On top of this, the comparison doesn’t even make sense.  Morrison is a commencement speaker and Snooki is being hired for entertainment purposes, just as standup comedians and musical acts can bank 6 figures on an appearance.  32,000 is small potatoes on the college entertainment circuit.  Dave Coulier made more money than both of them playing my rinkydink campus with 2,000 students.  That’s how the game works. 

Be happy that Morrison is going to be speaking to several thousand students and family, some of whom will get their first introduction and might actually read her poetry after graduation.

FIN